To You Who Keep Getting Angry at Loved Ones, Subdue the 'Heart Fire' That Ruins Relationships

Approached through modern medicine, the heart fire discussed in the Donguibogam can be viewed as closely linked to our body's stress response and a malfunction in the emotional regulation system. When we experience stress, the brain's hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis is activated, secreting cortisol, known as the stress hormone. An appropriate amount of cortisol helps our body cope with danger, but chronic and excessive secretion causes various problems. First, cortisol hyperactivates the brain's amygdala. The amygdala is the region that processes emotions, especially primitive emotions like fear and anger; when this area becomes hypersensitive, it easily perceives threats from minor stimuli and overreacts. Conversely, the function of the brain's prefrontal cortex, which regulates emotions and makes rational judgments, declines. It can be likened to a situation where the engine overheats while the brakes fail to work properly. When this happens, suppressing emotional impulses becomes difficult, leading to explosive expressions of anger over minor triggers. In addition, chronic stress brings about an imbalance in neurotransmitters. When levels of serotonin, called the happiness hormone, decrease, mood swings intensify, feelings of depression and anxiety increase, and the ability to control impulses can weaken. Arousal hormones like norepinephrine are excessively secreted, raising heart rate and blood pressure while keeping the body in a state of tension, making you easily agitated even by small stimuli. Furthermore, recent studies also emphasize the importance of the gut-brain axis. When the gut microbiota environment deteriorates due to stress, pro-inflammatory cytokines increase, and these substances can cross the blood-brain barrier to reach the brain, triggering neuroinflammation. Inflammation in the brain negatively affects mood regulation and cognitive function, ultimately lowering emotional regulation capacity further and making one easily feel anger and irritability. Expressing anger toward beloved family members involves intertwined, complex factors, but it can ultimately be understood as a kind of warning sign indicating that our brain is failing to process stress and emotions in a healthy manner. To break the vicious cycle in relationships caused by emotional regulation failure from brain overload, reclaiming peace of mind and body and restoring healthy emotional regulation mechanisms are more important than anything else.